by Chip Letzgus
Greetings, Idolovers— But why would anyone be an “Idol” lover after tonight’s joyless show? A passel of uninspired performances critiqued by judges who at times were excessively cruel—if this had been the first time I’d seen “American Idol,” I would probably have decided not to tune in again. Where’s the fun in that? A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, though, so . . . in order of appearance . . .
CRYSTAL BOWERSOX—Long As I Can See the Light—1 / 95
You would never know from Crystal’s performance that she had been hospitalized 24 hours earlier, reportedly with complications from diabetes. (I’ve done a little research, and learned that periodontal disease can be a side effect of Type 1 diabetes, and that explains everything, doesn’t it?) Crystal was clearly in the moment when she sang, and gave her gospel-tinged arrangement an authentic, heartfelt, spontaneous interpretation. The judges were at their pretentious worst. Randy Jackson said something about reality TV and then made this pronouncement: “Truth is reality.” He then went on a tear about Crystal being true, or real, or on TV, or something. His nonsensical soliloquy was nothing compared to Simon Cowell’s critique, wherein Simon invoked the mangled English of George Bush himself: “I totally misunderestimated you.” To which I can say only, “Simon, I totally misoverestimated you.”
